


Bats is Green with Envy

by sadieb798



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DC Animated Universe
Genre: Batman and Harley Quinn, Brudick - Freeform, Drabble, Gen, Harley is done with the UST, Pre-Slash, Rooftop Conversations, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-11-19 14:14:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11315076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadieb798/pseuds/sadieb798
Summary: After their latest team-up, Harley Quinn gives Batman some much-needed advice on his love life and the connection he has with Nightwing.





	Bats is Green with Envy

**Author's Note:**

> You can’t find it on YouTube anymore, but this was inspired by the “Batman and Harley Quinn” video in which Harley and Nightwing are buddy-buddy and Bats is…jealous?

The night above the rooftops of Gotham is as dark as charcoal, engulfing even the brightest of neon. There's a cold breeze in the air blowing in from the west, and Batman can tell from the bite of it that there'll be a storm sometime within the week.

He and Harley Quinn stare down from their perch on a solitary brownstone, watching as across the street, Gotham's finest round up Woodrue, Ivy, and their co-conspirators, the lights from their cars illuminating everything in red and blue.

“As much as I appreciate your help, Harley,” Batman starts, his voice like gravel, turning to face his temporary partner. “Let’s not do that again.”

Harley gives him a careless shrug, the white puffballs of her jester hat swaying with the motion. “Glad I could provide an assist, Bats,” she says easily. “Ivy ain’t all bad, but she needs a good reminder once in awhile.” After a moment, the corners of her dark lips turn up into a smirk and she levels him with a downright devious look.

“Ya know," she starts, swinging her broad hips as she adjusts her stance. "If Ya ever need ta partner up again, I’m always free,” she cheekily informs him, giving an accompanying saucy wink.

It’s only due to years of training that Batman’s able to keep his face blank.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he says dryly, turning away so he can get off this rooftop and get back to patrolling his city.

“Listen Batsy,” Harley says from behind him.

It's the rare sobriety in her tone that makes him pause in his steps. He turns his head slightly, watching her come closer towards him. Though he can only see her from his peripheral vision, the shift from the Joker’s former right-hand man to Dr. Harleen Quinzel is clearly evident.

She gives a sigh, as though it's taking her massive effort to explain, and tilts her head to the right. “This thing between the Boy Toy Wonder and I? It was fun _- ”_

“Get to your point,” he growls threateningly, like a territorial dog. Nightwing and Harley's constant flirting and playful roughhousing throughout the course of their mission is clear in his memory and hurts like a fresh bruise.

“That’s all it was: _fun_ ,” she emphasizes; giving him a flat, unimpressed look. “As much as I’d love to play with him - and believe me, I’d _love_ to get my hands on him - it would amount to nothin’. You don’t have to be a psychologist to see that the guy’s a pining mess and wants something more with a certain _someone_.”

She looks at him pointedly, to which he gives an answering blank stare.

“Something more with a certain _Dark Knight?”_ she asks with exasperation, her voice alone giving him the impression that beneath the black domino mask, she’s raising an eyebrow at him.

“Nightwing and I are fine as we are,” he states flatly. _Why_ he decided to use those words instead of the sentence he’d carefully constructed in his head, he doesn’t know, but Harley doesn’t acknowledge the Freudian slip.

“Oh come off it, Bats!” Harley exclaims, running in front him until she’s blocking his path from the edge of the roof. She plants her feet firmly apart, her dark lips turned down into a pout, and her blue eyes glaring at him; her entire stance daring him to try and get past her. “No more of this ‘dark and broody’ bull spit! Anyone with eyes can see that you and the Artist Formerly Known As Robin are ga-ga for each other!”

“So?” He asks, towering over her.

The trademark tactic, instead of intimidating her like it usually does, just infuriates her.

“So? _So?!”_ she huffs disbelievingly before spinning away to pace circles in front of him, waving her arms frantically. Then she turns back to face him, and the tone of her voice changes from manic raving to lecturing a small child. “ _You_ like-like _him_ , _he_ like-likes _you!_ What’s stopping you from tapping that?!”

“We’re not like that,” he replies. He’s proud that despite the uncertainty he feels, it isn’t registered in his voice at all.

“Are you trying to convince _me_ , Batsy, or yourself?” she asks coolly, crossing her arms, her words hitting their mark dead-on.

When he refuses to respond, she only sighs like a world-weary parent and concedes defeat.

“Look, puddin’," she begins, softly. Batman is mildly surprised at the nickname and the fond exasperation in her voice. "Just _try_ and talk to him, okay? For whatever dumb reason, that boy is crazy about you and this mutual pining is depressing.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, Harley,” he says again, her agitated huff at his choice of words ignored. He pulls out his grappling hook and aims it at a neighboring building before shooting it. “Stay out of trouble, Doctor,” he warns, pushing himself off the rooftop before swinging into the darkness.

“Yeah, and you talk to your other half!” She shouts after him.

Her next words bounce off the buildings of Gotham, which is just as well so that he - and the rest of the city - can hear them loud and clear. “Get yer heads outta your asses and _communicate!_ The unresolved sexual tension is downright painful to watch!”

**Author's Note:**

> You can send me prompts on my [writing tumblr!](https://sarahswritersblock.tumblr.com/)


End file.
